Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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