And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Panties = found
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
