You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
