Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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