maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
