she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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