did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
