your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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