He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
