I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
