based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize