it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
