Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
