idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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