Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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