But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
