If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
