:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize