he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
