I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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