I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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