You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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