Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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