i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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