Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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