So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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