There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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