how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
