white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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