I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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