just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
