Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize