i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
