Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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