Screwed.edu
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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