Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My vagina just clenched in fear
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
