There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
