And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Randomize
