I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
