party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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