she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize