drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
