is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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