You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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