Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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