Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
