How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can I color on your dick again?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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