So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize