how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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