The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
