Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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