woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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