Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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