You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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