Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
