Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
