Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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