I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
