I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
