Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
