i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
