What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
