We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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