Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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