If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
