fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
