she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
