she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
