Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
