goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize