Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
