I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
