pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
